Iconoclastic Fury

November 24, 2012

Old Friends

Filed under: grief,marriage — by telechick @ 5:29 pm

I’ve been having a bit of a rough time for the past few days. Thanksgiving wasn’t too bad in and of itself.  My mother and I ate lunch with my grandmother (aged 94) and two of her friends (aged 98 and 102).  My mother was the only non-widow at the table. We never really had a big celebration and we never had dinner at our house, so I was spared that emotional minefield – only to be hit by a different one driving to my mother’s.

On the radio I heard the Simon and Garfunkel song “Old Friends” on the radio the other day and there’s the line in it – “how terribly strange to be 70” which got me to thinking that when I’m 70, C will have been dead nearly 30 years.  If I live as long as my grandmother he will have been dead 50+ years.   Even by the time I’m 50 he will have been dead longer than I knew him.  That’s pretty much unfathomable to me. How can I go on for 50 years or even 3 or 15 without him?  I know I will, because I don’t really have a choice, but it makes the future seem so very long and so very lonely.

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